When ‘Keeping up with the Joneses’ Isn’t an Option

Posted by admin on Jun 21, 2023

Parenting is a lifelong challenge, with ups and downs, joys and heartaches, victories and defeats. Among these challenges, money matters can be a taboo topic, but it’s critical to break this silence.

As we weather the storm of economic uncertainties, many parents find themselves having to answer their children’s requests for the latest toys, gadgets, experiences, or vacations that are simply out of budget. But how do you go about this sensitive conversation?

Be Honest About Your Situation

Initiating a dialogue about financial struggles with your child requires an honest approach, acknowledging their perceptiveness and capacity to understand the situation. While this conversation might feel difficult, remember that honesty will not only help your child understand the current circumstances but also better prepare them for their financial future.

It’s important that kids understand that it’s not that you don’t want to give them everything they ask for, but it’s simply not financially possible. If they want something that’s out of your reach and they’re able to work, start a side hustle, etc., then you can encourage them to take steps towards purchasing their own luxuries.

Tailor Your Language to Your Child’s Age

How you talk to your children about financial struggles should vary depending on their age. Younger children thrive on simplicity. Provide a straightforward, easy explanation that aligns with their level of understanding. For instance, you might emphasize needs over luxuries or explain the concept of saving and spending wisely using analogies relevant to their world.

Older children are often capable of comprehending more complex financial concepts, and their understanding might extend to aspects of financial planning. Invite them to be part of some conversations around family budgets or financial decisions. You not only present a realistic view of the situation but also arm them with critical lessons about money management for their future. This practice can serve as a powerful educational tool, preparing them for their financial journey ahead, fostering responsibility, and nurturing informed decision-making skills.

Challenges Are Teachable Moments

Challenges, as daunting as they may seem, are opportunities for personal and developmental growth. By openly discussing your financial struggles with your children, you’re paving the way for an invaluable, real-world education outside the classroom. This conversation can serve as a practical lesson about the true value of money, demonstrating that money is a tool– not a solution — and that wise management of it can influence their future well-being.

You can utilize the situation to introduce the essential concepts of budgeting and financial planning. If you struggle with this yourself, you can visit your bank or credit union. Many advisors are willing to help, and your local town or community center may even have free classes designed to help with financial education.

By helping your kids allocate resources to necessities, save for emergencies, and possibly squeeze out a bit for leisure, you’re teaching them skills that they don’t usually learn in school. Your struggles can be transformed into their learning experiences, equipping them with the financial literacy and understanding they will need to navigate their own fiscal realities in the future.

Empower Them Early

One effective way to empower your children financially is through a system of chores and odd jobs around the house. Assigning tasks based on their age and abilities not only instills a sense of responsibility but also provides an avenue for them to earn their own money. This approach cultivates a strong work ethic, teaching them that money is earned, not simply given.

To complement this learning, consider introducing a dual piggy bank system: one for saving and one for spending. Encourage your children to divide their earned money equally between the two banks. This tangible act of splitting their earnings fosters an understanding of the balance between immediate gratification and long-term goals. By physically allocating their money, they learn the principles of budgeting, saving, and mindful spending, fundamental skills that will undoubtedly benefit them in their future financial journeys.

Highlight Non-Material Joy

Beyond the financial lessons, the experience of financial struggle presents a perfect opportunity to help your children find joy in non-material aspects of life. While society often equates happiness with possessions, it’s important to underscore the value of simple, meaningful experiences. Taking long walks, stargazing, exploring local sights, or cooking meals together can generate happiness that rivals and often surpasses the fleeting thrill of acquiring material possessions.

Impress upon your children that true value lies not in what we own but in the relationships we build and the memories we create. Emphasize that shared experiences, laughter, and love aren’t dictated by the state of one’s bank account. By teaching them to find joy outside the material world, you’ll provide them with a resilient mindset and an adaptable attitude that can bring contentment, regardless of their financial situation.

Offer Reassurance

Reassure your children that your family’s love and care for each other is not defined by material possessions. Make sure they know that many families are going through similar struggles and that it’s a normal part of life. Make them feel safe and secure, despite the current circumstances.

Financial difficulties are hard on everyone, but they can also be an opportunity for teaching and growth. By engaging your children in the conversation, using age-appropriate language, offering reassurance, and reminding them of the joy of non-material things, you can help your children navigate this challenging time. Moreover, you’ll equip them with valuable life lessons about the realities of money, the importance of budgeting, and the power of resilience.